Brooklynnnn

May 6

Starting tomorrow I’m doing my new exercise regime. Strength training every other day and cardio everyday. It seems a bit hardcore maybe, but isn’t that how people are supposed to be? Living an active lifestyle? I’m ready for this change and hopefully I can start making it a lifestyle rather than a chore.

Yes, it’s a depressing emo post

Since I don’t have followers, I suppose this is a good place for me to air out everything I’m going through. I can feel like I’m heard because I’m saying it to the world, but no one may be listening.

A few weeks ago, the guy i really like.. I can’t call it love or being in love.. It sounds silly at my age, but he sleep with someone else while being away for work for three months in a different state. He said it was needed and that he was never going to be with me with how things were. (I’m too fat for his liking). And that’s when things changed for me. I started to diet and exercise. I ended up losing 17 lbs in 2 weeks. Which was mainly just water weight I’m sure, but I still kept on track. It’s now the end of the third week and I’ve gotten off my diet a bit in the last few days, but I’m still trying.

He is still sleeping with the girl, knowing full well what’s going on with me. He’s told me before that he considers me his soulmate and that he is only interested in her physically. Which, I don’t think e realizes how badly that hurts and how shallow he sounds.

But now, she’s wanting a relationship. And he’s starting to feel like he should be in one because he still wants to sleep with her.

This leaves me to think that I don’t matter. I mean, could you matter to a person that would destroy your heart like that? That would put pictures up on Facebook showing this girl off when he never wanted to do the same for you because of your “size”.

I feel betrayed and used. I suppose this will be my new let out for my journey on self discovery and self love.

Thanks for reading..

❤🌟U

Brooklynn James